BOSTON, MA - The gala event held Saturday at the posh Park Plaza hotel illustrated the results of a newly released study: wedding guests, perhaps concerned over their weight or social inhibitions, have foregone the bacon-wrapped scallops and beef tenderloin in favor of hard, top shelf liquor.

MANCHESTER BY THE SEA, Mass. - A scholarship golf event held a few weeks ago in this seaside community ended in heartbreak as a member of the winning trio was bludgeoned to death with a six iron for "bein' a God damned ringa."