GREENFIELD, MA: Arthur Branch, a local man and auto enthusiast, was confused recently by the inclusion of a glue gun with the Pops-A-Dent system he ordered to remove some dents in the passenger door of his 1978 Ford Gran Torino.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA: Clothing retailer The Gap announced today that they are launching a new chain of stores aimed at the urban market, to be known as The Gizzap.

WASHINGTON, DC: The nation's credit dropped to a new low today when credit card companies across America took it off their list for sending enrollment forms for "pre-approved" credit cards.