FORESTS OF MASSACHUSETTS: Residents of the local wilderness have begun telling friends and acquaintances about what appears to have been the marriage of the mythical beast Sasquatch; witnesses report that the beast has found his true love.

PROVO, UTAH: Sally and Julie Marriott, heiresses to the Marriott hotel fortune, have been setting this college town on its ear with their wild antics and shocking behavior.

IRVING, TX: Tired of dealing with fan frustration over recent losing seasons, Dallas Cowboy head coach Bill Parcells today urged football fans to "stand behind this team one time and quit worrying about all the negative stuff and talking about last year's team and 10 years ago."