TONGANOXIE, KS: Homosexuals, often caricatured despite their diversity, have regained their status as the rest of the country's obvious mental association with San Francisco, five years after yielding that role to the so-called "dot-commers."

BURLINGTON, VT: A day after suspending his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination, former Vermont governor Howard Dean announced his errands for the next few days.

ROME: Seeking a bridge to a dwindling flock of parishoners, the Vatican announced today that it has developed a low-carbohydrate communion wafer for use in Sunday services.